The Ron & Hermione Theory

July 15, 2011 3 comments

Through my failed experiences with the females that I have dated and witnessing the fruitful, wholesome, healthy, blossoming relationships of friends and their significant others, I have developed a theory on romance – one that I hope to dedicate myself to for the future. Named appropriately after characters from the literary series Harry Potter, Ron and Hermione represent a couple that got it right in consummating their great friendship in a lifelong loving partnership.

The theory that I am positing is that romantic relationships work out best when they start out as friendships. The friendship serves as a screening period for you to get know a person as an individual; it is an opportunity for you to understand what they are like as a companion, their tendencies, habits, flaws and strengths. However, the friendship cannot be tainted by sexual tension or a past history. The reason why Ron and Hermione worked out so well is because they developed their friendship on numerous levels. They started at Hogwarts not so keen about one another; but through trials, adventures and triumph, they cultivated a strong understanding of the other’s tendencies, faults, strengths and character. And these qualities are exactly what you need to see in a prospective partner before you decide to engage in a relationship with them.

In my past, I have dated girls whom I did not have a long-standing friendship with beforehand. I deluded myself into believing these girls were people that I wanted them to be, projected great characteristics upon them that I had never seen surfaced and ultimately set myself up for disappointment when they turned out to be different people than I had thought them to be. This was really no one else’s fault but my own. I used to make the mistake of liking girls before I knew who they really were. This was a problem when I would like a girl, and like her a lot before I could give her character a legitimate chance to surface itself. Because, to be honest, how a person responds to conflict, how she communicates her feelings, how she handles disappointment and accomplishment are important things to know before you decide that you really like a person and that you may want to pursue something more with them. I want to know what kind of emotional baggage the other person is carrying with them on a daily or monthly basis; I want to know that I can trust this individual inherently; and I would like to know that I find that person beautiful for who she is before the complications of romance, sex and (pre)nuptials get involved.

There is this play in Texas Hold ‘Em Poker called “straddling” where the player behind the big blind is able to raise the minimum bet before the cards have even been dealt. Though that player is raising the stakes, he couldn’t be doing anything stupider than betting on cards he has yet to see. Had this player not decided to straddle, then he would be able to see his cards for free and then decide whether or not he chooses to play with the cards he has in hand. Dating an individual you are not familiar with is like straddling in poker—you’re committed to playing before you even know what you’ve got. It’s a sucker move.

While watching Harry Potter 7 Part 1 last night, I realized that what I had been watching and reading for the last decade of my life was a truly rare breed of relationship taking shape. Ron and Hermione grew up together, going to the same school and in a dynamic trio bonded by their fateful friend Harry Potter. It wasn’t until Ron hit puberty and did some inner reflection that he realized that he liked Hermione. There was a moment where he knew that she was not only a beautiful individual, but a stunning young woman that he wanted to be with. After all they had been through, he knew he could count on her; he knew she could support him; and he knew almost everything about her background and past. Their friendship also confirmed and assured Hermione of the feelings that she developed for Ron as well. She had met the Weasleys, and they were more than fond of her; she found Ron funny, awkwardly cute and adorably tactless at times – and this is what she grew to love about him. They built a solid track record of accountability and support. They had gotten into fights before and learned to resolve them without the gravity and complications of romance implicated or involved. Ron and Hermione founded their relationship on wholesome building blocks long before they ever kissed each other or confessed that they had feelings for one another; but when they did, it felt right for both of them. The transition from friendship to your-my-lover-and-best-friend was completely organic.

Before I go any further in celebrating this fictional, yet oh-so-real and possibly ideal relationship, I have to bring attention to the fact that Ron never entered his relationship with Hermione with any intention of ending up with her. For the friend-to-girlfriend transition to take place and work for you, you cannot have it planned. The whole process of a growing relationship needs to be organic. If you think that you can try to be friends with a girl that you’re interested in, you are just fooling yourself. Ultimately, you have ulterior motives, whether they are to get with her or make her your girlfriend. Therefore, your approach to the entire relationship is mired with intentions that are in some way compromised. For the Ron & Hermione type of relationship to happen, there can’t be any planning. Ron never sought out Hermione; he never had some grandmaster plan for how he was going to get her. He let his character and their friendship speak for itself, as a testament to how great they would be together. And for her, it was a no-brainer. Throughout the course of their adventures, besides Harry, there has not been any individual as steadfast, as consistent and as great a friend as Ronald B. Weasley. The same can be said of Hermione J. Granger. And nothing is as fortifying in a relationship as a foundational friendship.

Because there is no real formula for attaining this type of lifelong love, I can only suggest an adjustment in the way you view others. Instead of perhaps feeling out prospective girls or constantly being on the look out for that next someone, try focusing on valuing people – getting to know others in a real and genuine way, reverting back to the prepubescent version of yourself when sex, looks and carnal needs had no hold over your life. What happens when we enter into a relationship with people we don’t know is that our need for companionship, sex, physical and emotional intimacy pervades and interferes with our senses. We succumb to those needs and wind up in a foreign place with a stranger. If while reading this, you are running through a mental Rolodex of friends you could potentially see yourself with, then you’re off to a bad start. The whole point is to shed that mentality of constantly looking, searching and hoping for that Mr. or Miss Right to be someone at the next bar, at your next job, sitting across from you on the train or your lifelong friend who you’ve never seen in that way. In essence, the way to achieve this higher order of relationship, you have to give up the search. In fact, stop looking at others as a potential anything. Allow relationships to form, invest in people that you find interesting for who they are, grow in the bonds that you have with people and value those who treat you well, those you can trust and those that interest you. And don’t be surprised if one day, you have a Ron/Hermione moment when you realize that he/she is the most beautiful person you have ever seen and that is exactly who you want to spend your life with. Love someone because you know who they are and let that knowledge of them fuel the flame even more.

Though Harry might have been the hero to defeat Lord Voldemort, he didn’t get to end up with his best friend as his lover and dream girl. Instead, he ended up with his best friend’s little sister. Ron and Hermione had the right idea, whether they knew it or not. For that, I wish them a happily ever after.

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Hillstone Restaurant Review

January 31, 2011 1 comment

Hillstone: Manhattan Midtown
153 E. 53rd St, New York, NY
www.hillstone.com
212.888.3828

Upon entering the Hillstone Restaurant in Midtown East, my guest and I were received warmly and welcomed by friendly greeters who told us that it would be approximately 20 minutes until we were seated. I gave the host my name and sure enough, we were seated in the expected time that she had told us. While waiting, we listened to festive live jazz. As I surveyed the beautiful dining room, I took notice of the open kitchen, a particular point of interest where I witnessed employees in the kitchen pasting barbeque sauce on racks of eager ribs, making my mouth water. The openness of the kitchen physically allowed for customers to see their food being prepared, establishing a transparent dynamic between the clients and the restaurant. People knew exactly what they were being served and how it was being prepared. This ideal complemented my perception of Hillstone’s friendly service that fostered a feeling of family and community.

The décor was simple, yet elegant. The dim lighting offset by the maple-colored lampshades well complemented the wooden tables and booths. The use of booths, big and small, really promoted an intimate environment, where customers could not only be seated and lounge comfortably, but also have easily accessible face-to-face contact.

Upon being seated, our server, Aaliyah, introduced herself and clearly portrayed a great familiarity with the menu and knowledge of the food, having her own preferences and favorites. I was particularly pleased with the setup of the menu; its simplicity and variety worked well with the seasonal nature, being the fall menu. My guest and I started our dining experience with the Grilled Jumbo Artichoke (I saw these being prepared while waiting and had to try it!). Having questions about a few items on the menu, I inquired with Aaliyah who provided well-versed answers, sharing her insight and experience. After hearing her personal suggestions and the nightly specials, I chose the Wild Striped Bass with Crispy Rock Shrimp, while my guest selected the Stacked Barbeque Ribs (he couldn’t resist either).

Throughout the entire meal, our glasses were never empty. We were well attended to, and our server invited any request. She truly showed investment in our dining experience, answering our questions and accommodating our requests for condiments to be held on the side, extra plates and an inquiry about whether peanuts were in our dessert (my guest had an allergy). Aaliyah’s friendly and warm demeanor and extremely hospitable attitude made me curious about what her experience was like with Hillstone. When I asked her about it, she shared that she had just moved to New York, but had worked in restaurants before. She expressed a deep fondness for the working environment that Hillstone promoted, confessing that it was unlike anything she had ever been a part of—she truly felt like a part of a progressive and cohesive team. Because servers attended to no more than 3 tables at a time, she could give her undivided attention to the customers that she served and be involved in making their dining experience comfortable, something which was apparent to us, her guests, as well. Aaliyah also articulated a gratitude for the learning experience that she’s had at Hillstone to learn such quality values about service and dining.

My experience at Hillstone confirmed and exceeded the great expectations that I had, not only for the food, but also the quality of service and the entirety of my dining experience. I was truly impressed and fascinated by the professionalism of the restaurant, which was a great reflection of Hillstone’s internal values of teamwork and cooperation. Each employee that I observed seemed genuinely happy to serve and value the customers they catered to. As a guest, I certainly felt valued and accommodated for, from the moment I stepped in the restaurant. I really appreciated the way that Hillstone sought to enrich every aspect of my experience.

Hillstone embodies the values of dining that I find of the utmost importance. First, it places an emphasis on the experience, which is composed of delicious food, great service and a warm atmosphere. Secondly, the way that the restaurant values its employees just as much as its customers is truly indicative of its care for each and every individual’s experience. After having been involved in a variety of service organizations, primarily in social justice and community service, I have an understanding of what it means to work on behalf of another, to advocate for them and their needs and the effort it requires to hold this kind of responsibility. Meeting the needs of individuals, familiar and unfamiliar, is a difficult task that requires a great deal of support. Understanding this, Hillstone revolutionizes the way work in a restaurant is done by establishing an environment that sincerely encourages its employees to not only cooperate with one another, but also be invested in the customer collectively. I’m drawn to Hillstone for this reason, more than any other organization or company, because it integrates my affinity and desire to work in business and hospitality. This desire stems from my yearning to achieve goals; in the restaurant business, these goals reside in overcoming obstacles in order to continue to improve the quality of food and service. Moreover, I am a leader by nature who possesses a keen eye for what needs to be accomplished and enhanced, an active ear for feedback and compelling voice to unite and serve individuals. I am an individual who thrives by working on my feet and is dynamic in a team setting, and likes the challenge of thinking critically, which is exactly what Hillstone promotes. At Hillstone, I would like to contribute to and better its innovative vision for successful service and increase its novel efficiency in customer satisfaction. I truly believe that Hillstone is a great fit for me to learn, voice my thoughts and ideas, and make a great impact on the experiences of the many individuals who work for and dine with Hillstone.

 

 

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Dovetail

January 31, 2011 Leave a comment

Dovetail
103 W. 77th St., New York, NY
www.dovetailnyc.com
212.362.2800

tuesday, january 25, 2011

I approached the restaurant located on the northwest corner of 77th and Columbus Avenue (next to Shake Shack), and I wasn’t quite sure which door was the entrance to the restaurant. The entrance was unadorned and quite unassuming, but I walked into what I thought was the entrance and was greeted by a friendly, welcoming host and hostess. I made my reservations online the evening before via OpenTable for a party of two during lunch for restaurant week. Unfortunately, however, my co-worker could not make it, so I was dining solo. I told the host my name and that I would not be accompanied by anyone else for the afternoon. The hostess took my coat and scarf, and led me to a table for two in the back of the dining room on the ground floor. The layout and décor of the restaurant reminded me of a 1970s living room in Southern California, like the one in the Brady Bunch. The dining room was well-spaced with a cozy and warm ambiance—lots of brown, oaky colors. The crowd for lunch on a Tuesday afternoon during restaurant week was diverse. Sitting to my right were an older man and woman who appeared to be friends, chatting about old and new films over post-meal coffee. In front of me sat a party of four young professionals, indulging in glasses of red wine to prepare their taste buds for the 3-course meal that would follow. The dining staff was extremely friendly; they kept my glass full, changed my plate and silverware settings promptly between courses and were sufficiently accommodating. From the restaurant week menu, I ordered a creamy risotto to start, braised lamb as my entrée and eagerly awaited my dessert, a guilty pleasure of mine—chocolate tart.

Before my appetizer was served, my server brought out warm, delicious bread to accompany my meal. The risotto was of humble portion, presented in a clean, tidy fashion. It hit the spot on such a grossly cold day; the duck confit was yummy. For the main course, I enjoyed the braised lamb, which was a dish with a vast array of flavor and texture. The presentation of the entire meal was very clean and simple; they had big plates with the food centered, surrounded by the whiteness of the porcelain. Each course was a showcase of culinary art, on display in the center spotlight of the plate. After enjoying the tenderness of the lamb, complimented by the subtle spicy kick of the persillade and the different textures of the crispy polenta, mustard and spaghetti squash, I progressed into meal cool-down mode with a cup of coffee (milk and 2 sugars). The delicious coffee went great with their baked chocolate tart, served with salted caramel, pretzels and beer ice cream. The saltiness of the pretzels accented the sweetness of the tart, which was rich and smooth. I had never had beer ice cream before, but I liked it so much, I almost asked for more. Overall, the food was well prepared, diverse in taste and elegant in presentation. I came, I saw, and I devoured.

My experience at Dovetail was one that I would happily repeat on another occasion and would recommend to friends, family and strangers looking for a satisfying meal in the Brady home, highlighted an warm, inviting atmosphere, friendly service and well-presented food. I look forward to going back and trying the rest of their menu. But don’t forget to try the beer ice cream!

Creamy Risotto – duck confit, rosemary, cabbage

Braised Lamb – persillade, mustard, crispy polenta, spaghetti squash

Baked Chocolate Tart – salted caramel, pretzels & beer ice cream.

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Conversation between Boy & Girl

January 16, 2011 Leave a comment

B: “I think you’re beautiful.”

G: “Is that so? Now, how do you expect me to respond to that?”

B: “Maybe, by saying ‘Thank you,’ and perhaps that you like me too.”

G: “Now that would be way too cliché. I supposed you would want to kiss me after too, wouldn’t you?”

B: “That wouldn’t be such a bad idea. We could start there.”

G: “Haha. You think you’re sly. Don’t you?”

B: “I have something to tell you.”

G: “What? What is it?”

B: “No really. I have something really important to tell you.”

G: “Okayyy. What is it?”

B: “I don’t care if you hate me for saying this, but I’m going to say it anyway. Okay?”

G: “Now, you’re kind of making me nervous. Go ahead with it.”

B: “Okay. You ready for it?”

G: “Yes, dammit. Tell me.”

B: “Alright, alright. I think you’re beautiful.”

G: “Was that it? You just said that.”

B: “Yeah, but now I’m going to kiss you.”

G: “Thank you. I like you too.”

Insert kiss [here]

 

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whatever happened to…

December 29, 2010 2 comments

from the past:

Remember when you could just be friends with someone great/cool and that was enough? When you didn’t feel like you needed to plan your moves to hook up with them. I’m talking about women. I met this girl a week ago, and I don’t even know if I like her. Yes, I do find her attractive, but rather than just appreciating the fact that she’s cool and fun, and someone new that I have an opportunity to get to know, my thoughts tend to the physical—how am I going to hook up with her? I do not like this, not one bit.

I feel like I’ve lost a bit of my humanity. Perhaps, not my humanity, but I’ve lost my fervor for romance. I feel as though I’m jaded and fewer thoughts of a perfect someone or romantic ideals of the future cross my mind. Whereas, they used to do so all the time. Before, I was almost hopelessly a romantic, waiting on my star-crossed lover to fall into my arms. I used to hold out. Nowadays, I’m just trying to keep my head above water, stay out of harm’s way and hold onto some peace of mind knowing that I am better off straightjacketing myself in my apartment, instead of chasing vain conquests. Why? Not because I don’t want to whore myself out or because I feel bad for engaging in such ephemeral pleasures of the flesh—by flesh, I mean, giving into my carnal desires—but because such activities (i.e. pursuing women, playing the game of “let me charm you so I can see just how charming I am”) cultivate infections of the mind. They start as harmless seeds of self-validation or a lust for gratification, but they sprout into troubles far worse, laying on your conscience, stemming into regrets and growing into a world of confusion.

What happened to the good ole days when you really liked a girl, and you pursued her and just her? What happened to those days when you wrote about her in your journal, recounting the many firsts—the first time you talked to her, the first time she touched your hand, the first time you had this inkling there could be a chance that she could like you back? What happened to saving the first kiss for a time when you knew both parties were committed, and that she’d still like you the next day? What happened to making the wait worthwhile?

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a crazy little thing called love

December 2, 2010 1 comment

Coming down to Suncheon (순천) today to visit grandma and see my aunt (이모) and uncle (삼촌) (who are brother and sister), I felt a heavy load of sadness when listening to how hard life seems to be for them and some people. Unfortunately, my aunt was not blessed with such great health; she and her sons immigrated to the US and now, they are attempting all they can to make a life for themselves. She comes back and forth between Korea and Virginia because she feels much more at home in Korea than in the states. I don’t blame her. She doesn’t speak much English, it is a completely unknown land, and it’s hard for her to take care of her health in a country where she has no health insurance. My cousins, her kids, have it harder than a lot, living in the US and growing up most of their life without their dad around. Now, they are doing what they can to make a life.

I also got to hear about my uncle, who I remember lived with us in the States when I was a lot younger. I hadn’t seen him in probably over 15 years. He and my mom never really saw eye to eye about things, and she always thought of him as a lazy deadbeat; her saying this about him didn’t make my grandma happy, who though I think she understood this to be true couldn’t stop caring about her eldest son. After all, no one loves a man like his mom. When my aunt and grandma mentioned him today, it was like hearing a familiar name from the distant path because we never talked about him at home, and my mom didn’t like that my grandma continued to support him financially with what little money she had. Sitting at the table with them, I heard about my uncle’s health problems, and I inquired about his daughter. I had known he had a daughter, who I felt like was probably around ten years old now. I also knew that he was no longer married to the woman that had had his daughter and having not really heard much about the little girl in recent years, I assumed that she was no longer a part of his life. When I brought her up in the conversation, they asked me how I knew. And though, I wasn’t sure how I knew, I felt like my younger cousin told me when we were younger than our uncle had a little girl for a daughter. Long story short: her mom took her when they got divorced and he doesn’t see her at all. He’s 51 years old in poor health and doesn’t work. When he came to pick us up today to take us to Suncheon’s Eco Park, he still had the same scent that I remember him having as a child, one that vaguely reminded me of a smoker and I associate with a certain hounds tooth-like patterned sweater I remember him always wearing around our house.  Sitting at the table this afternoon, I wondered if this was his life: a father without a child, a working man without a job and a place to live, but no home. I don’t know if I was judging him, maybe I was, but more than anything I felt sadness for him. He dropped us off after we went to the park, and I asked my grandma where he goes or what he does with his time, and she told me that she doesn’t know and chooses not to ask because she doesn’t want to be upset or disappointed.

Hearing and seeing all this today, I am torn. I feel so fortunate because I have been able to have a place I can call home. I have parents who have been able to supply more than enough; and if I were to be real honest with myself, I would be able to see how much of a brat I am. I have a future that I can start building up based on a solid foundation of the work my parents have put in for me. I don’t have to put in the long hours and painstaking work that many people have to put in to just even begin to break the threshold for a brighter future. My cousins in the states who came late, they have so much pressure on their shoulders because what they make of themselves is what generations of their family will build upon.

I also feel torn because of the cold reality of health and medical issues. Why do people have to be sick? I understand it, but it’s such a sad reality that people have to fight to stay alive, physically and often mentally. You know what I mean? We have to fight off illnesses, doing whatever we can to maintain our health. People who get sick have to battle through it; and it’s never easy. Moreover, we have to fight to find peace in this world a lot of times. In some cases, we fight to be at peace with the broken relationships in our lives. In other cases, we fight to be at peace with the life we’re living, keeping hopelessness and purposelessness at bay. Don’t we all want to feel like we’re living for something more than just filling our days and making time pass? I would think we live for some sort of fulfillment, something exciting, that we can fill with the wonders of our lives. I don’t know much about what life is supposed to be like; I’m trying to figure it out. I hope to be empowered with the tools to make good decisions so that I can live a fruitful life.

 

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would you get a load of that…life philosophy on relationships

November 12, 2010 Leave a comment

i’m recycling an old facebook note on this blog, it may not be up to date on what I’m thinking nowadays, but you’ll hear something more recent soon.

enjoy:

when it comes to relationships/life…fear is one thing that drives us all too much. we’re afraid that we’re not good enough. we’re afraid to miss out on something. we’re afraid that if we give our everything that it just may not be good enough. but those are all really really bad excuses for not putting everything out on the field. i say that you have to just go out there and do your thing and live with the consequences. if you dont put everything out on the field and live your life in fear, then the consequence is a life of regret. but you also have to accept that and move on. you know?

by nature, we are autonomous beings. we know how to care for ourselves. we feed ourselves. we sleep and we take care of ourselves. some of us dont know what that means mentally and therefore, we’re screwed up. actually, a lot of us havent taken care of ourselves mentally. we’ve lost a sense of ourself. we’ve forgotten and defined ourselves by meaningless things that fall through and we’re constantly searching for a sense of self worth. BUT, once you’ve found that sense of self worth, then the challenge and the learning in life isn’t so much centered on who you are as an individual…at that point, you know who you are…you are that which you center your sense of self worth by. the challenge, then, comes in the form of relationships and interacting with people who are different/have differences. love is not about ignoring other people’s flaws and their differences and what’s screwed up about them, love is about reconciling those differences, in love. there’s a big difference between simply ignoring and the struggle of reconciling, but there is a kind of redemption in reconciliation. a redemption of the soul and of self. and if you care for someone enough, you want that for them…for them to be whole and complete again. love is about sharing…sharing those passions, sharing the experiences, sharing you. you may learn how to share in kindergarden, but not your life. you share material possessions and food, but not true intimacy. you remember that line from Good Will Hunting, “You don’t know about real loss, ’cause that only occurs when you love something more than you love yourself. I doubt you’ve ever dared to love anybody that much.” it’s loss because when you lose the person you care about, you lose a part of yourself because your lives have become conjoined. the beauty of relationships, in my opinion, is that you no longer have to go out and do the searching for good restaurants, these cool experiences, thoughts and ideas on your own. you have someone else who’s doing them, going to these cool places or hearing of them and they want to take you with them. moreover, they think thoughts or have these ideas that would’ve never crossed your mind, but they are sharing them with you because they’d rather experience it with somone because it’s 1000x more awesome when it’s shared….especially with the person you love. so you’re not on your own, but it’s like the magic carpet ride from Aladdin…you can experience a whole new world. and as cheesy as it sounds….isnt one of our biggest insecurities that we’d miss out on something? when we’re younger and we dont get invited to a bday party, we’re partly upset because he/she didnt invite us, but we’re also upset because we’re missing out on the good time others are having so that when you get to school on monday and everyone’s talking about the fun birthday party at chuck e. cheese that happened on friday, you have no idea what they’re talking about. and i think that’s the worst feeling of all…missing out on something great. and this haunts us and is one of our biggest insecurities…that we’re not taking part in something awesome. that’s what happens to people when they’re dating others…the one’s that feel tied down, feel that way sometimes because they feel like they’re missing out on something. but i think the beauty of relationship is that you have another pair of eyes, another someone who’s doing the looking on behalf of both people so that if there is something awesome out there, whether it be a restaurant, a show, a vacation, a movie, an idea, a poem, a joke, you both can have it and have it together.

if you want a true challenge, it’s learning to reconcile ourselves with the people we love. and getting through it through the good and the bad. that’s unconditional love. and i think also an understanding that the other person is just as human as we are…so when they get upset, when they get angry, when they get mad or frustrated, it’s because they’re human. we’ll always be alright on our own. we dont need to learn love to survive on our own. we dont need to know the meaning of reconciliation or redemption to just merely exist. i’ve always said that loving people is hard…it’s no easy thing, but if you want a challenge of a lifetime. love is a lifelong challenge, well worth in my opinion. but by no means easy….we, as humans, are by nature selfish. so selfish. but maybe we can be selfishly wanting something better for someone besides ourself…how different the world would look.

—-

What is the world that you dream of living in look like? How do you expect people to treat each other in that world? For me, this world looks like a place where everyone can just pour out his or her goodness into the world, endlessly. It’s a world where one can just give and give and give and not grow faint or weary because everyone else is also giving, giving and giving. This is the ideal. The opposite of this looks like a world where one person gives, but doesn’t give until he or she receives that which he or she thinks he/she is owed. It’s a very transactional world, where in order for one to give, he/she needs to make certain calculations. I don’t like this type of world because it promotes the self. It promotes a type of living that is self-centered, egocentric and very much too individualized. Then, what’s the point? But then again, are we really even capable of giving and giving and giving as if our love, our energy, our ‘gifts’ are bottomless? I think we can try. However, for us to operate in such a way, we depend on others operating in a similar manner. The truth is, however, that we’re human. We want people to love us in return. We want to be recognized for our efforts. We want to receive and know that what we give is being reciprocated. And when it isn’t, we get hurt. We get upset. We get frustrated and angry. Can you blame us? I don’t think so. It’s part of what being human means. On many days, I wish I could be resilient enough to just love people endlessly. I wish I could just give and not expect anything, in the hopes that other people will give in a similar fashion. However, to hope for such a thing is to believe that other people live by that same standard, which is a standard we can keep people accountable to. So when we get upset, when we get angry, frustrated and hurt, we’re only proving one thing: we are human. Our love isn’t endless. It isn’t infinite. It’s rather, quite limited and dependent on others. We act and react. If I could choose to define love in a way, I would refer to a passage where it says: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

If we followed that principle, if the world lived by that principle what would that look like? It’d look beautiful, wouldn’t it? As we get there, as we are striving towards that point, we can’t give up. And we cannot lose hope and think that we are the only ones living by such a standard. Moreover, we can’t hold ourselves as better than others because we live by such a standard; this only polarizes the world. More than likely, we’ll still get upset, we’ll still hurt, still get angry and frustrated. But i think we can believe such a love exists….

Categories: Uncategorized
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